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  • Writer's pictureNatalie Samuels

Overcoming Rejection: Finding Acceptance in God and Yourself with CBT and Biblical Principles

If you've faced rejection, whether it's from loved ones or strangers, you know how much it can hurt.

Rejection involves the act of not accepting, receiving, or considering someone, which can lead to feelings of sadness, loneliness, grief, and shame. These emotions can activate the same part of the brain that causes physical pain. As humans, we all seek acceptance, love, and validation from others, but we often forget that the ultimate acceptance comes from God, who treasures us as His own.


Growing up, I experienced rejection several times, like when I was young and a girl told me I couldn't play with her and her friends during recess. All the other girls ran off, and I found myself crying on the blacktop. This was only one instance of many rejections, and I can still remember how painful it felt to believe that I was unworthy or not good enough. Rejection can isolate you and make you feel like nobody cares about you. It can lead to bitterness, resentment, and more pain. If you don't address rejection, it can worsen and cause you more harm. In extreme cases, it can even lead to self-harm or self-mutilation.


It's crucial to remember that rejection doesn't define you. You are a child of God, and He loves you unconditionally. By focusing on God, you can experience His perfect peace. Journaling and practicing gratitude can help you concentrate on God's love for you. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and biblical principles can also be effective in coping with rejection. CBT involves changing negative thought patterns and behaviors to challenge negative thoughts and beliefs about yourself and replace them with positive, realistic ones. By altering how you perceive rejection, you can learn to handle it in a healthier way.


Here are six steps to follow to deal with rejection using CBT and biblical principles:


  1. Identify your negative thoughts and beliefs about rejection. Write them down, such as "I'm not good enough," "No one wants me," "I'm unlovable," etc.

  2. Challenge your negative thoughts and beliefs. Ask yourself, "Is this thought/belief true?" "Is there evidence to support this thought/belief?" "Am I being too hard on myself?" "What would I say to a friend who had this thought/belief?"

  3. Replace your negative thoughts and beliefs with positive, realistic ones. For example, "I am valuable and worthy," "I am loved by God," "I have people who care about me," etc.

  4. Practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Remember that nobody's perfect.

  5. Seek support. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for help. It's okay to ask for help and to lean on others during tough times.

  6. Focus on God's love and acceptance. Remember that you are a child of God, and He loves you unconditionally. Spend time in prayer, read the Bible, and meditate on His word.

Dealing with rejection can be challenging, but with the help of CBT and biblical principles, you can learn to cope with it in a healthier way. Remember that rejection doesn't define you, and that you are valuable and loved by God. Seek support when you need it, and focus on positive and realistic thoughts and beliefs about yourself.


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